From exhaustion to resilience

There are different types of exhaustion: physical , mental, emotional, sensorial, creative, social and spiritual.

The year has just begun, the holidays are barely behind us, I still have Christmas songs stuck in my head and yet, I too - like many of you declare on social media - feel like January lasted 6 months this year.

On one hand this first month was slow, and at the same time it was so packed. I feel tired even thinking about the remaining of the year to come and I sense a little disappointment when I think that I may have missed an opportunity to make the most of the “fresh start” I got a few weeks back.

In other words, I feel tired. And I don’t think I’m the only one. I feel tired despite sleeping more than usual, I feel tired despite being conscious of not working extra hours. I feel tired but worse than that I feel ungrateful because I feel tired. Why am I not enjoying the time I’ve spent with my family and friends this month? Why am I not proud of the progress I’ve made in personal projects? Why am I not thankful I’m healthy enough to exercise regularly? It’s because I am exhausted, and I believe we all are.

The things that give us energy; are also those that lead us to exhaustion.

So how can we cultivate evergreen energy?

First, we must respect the requirements of our bodies, our minds, our souls. Just like certain plants need more water, while others make do with a few drops; humans have a basic threshold of rest that they cannot live without.

Our society has us thinking that rest is something you earn when we say things like “I’m going on my well-deserved holidays”. We are mistaken, rest is something we need, and no one deserves being deprived of their rest. Taking a stance to remind us that we all need rest is the first step towards getting that much needed nourishment such as taking a day off, sleeping one extra hour, having a longer coffee break and inforcing a strict policy of pampering ourselves on sundays. If we fail to do this and mix up merit and need, we might not be able to truly reap the rewards of rest. Troubled by guilt and constantly tortured by our insecurities, as women we are constantly at risk of feeling overworked and not allowed to ask for help ir a break.

"Less than two in five women say they feel able to switch off from their work. This has a direct impact on mental and physical well-being. Among women who regularly work overtime, only 23% say their mental well- being is good and 22% say their physical health is good. Women who don’t regularly work overtime are more than twice as likely to report good mental well-being (50%) and good physical health (59%)."

Deloitte Women @ work report 2024

Secondly, we need to accept the seasonality of our energy. This applies to all but is especially important for women. We are not beings meant for daily routines, we are mapped to respond to our menstrual cycles and are subject to the impact of our hormones. This impacts our productivity and clarity, this affects our capacity to problem-solve and to socialize. We need to accept and learn that are bodies have a voice of their own and she who doesn’t listen will end up burning out. More on cycle syncing here.

Lastly I think we need to find a rhythm that is bearable. Our energy might lead us to slowly increase our output or social outings, but sooner rather than later this crescendo will need easing back or a drop. Just like a song that raises the energy and finds it way back to a pace that feels right. We are not meant to stay in a high note forever so we must implement mechanisms that slow the fast- moving vehicle inside us down, to make sure we find the velocity that is right - one that our heart can withstand for long. One that is going in the right direction and taking its time to reach its desired destination. Like in music and composition, we must listen and seek harmony.

All of this is applicable to all kinds of exhaustion but from experience I know there is a kind of exhaustion that often gets to me most: it’s that one that comes from pretending too much. So if you too feel like this month you’ve ran out of your inner light, take the time to think: what is my essence and am I hiding it from the world? If the answer is yes, your exhaustion might be tied to this mask you put on and I hope you find the freedom of authenticity we all deserve - as much as rest. More on that in a different post.

Rest at Night

The Sun from shining,

Nature — and some Men —

Rest at Noon — some Men —

While Nature

And the Sun — go on —

Poem by

Emily Dickinson